Houston..We have a Situation!!!

My abstract thinking sessions always result in unanswerable questions. For a change, I decided to seek answers to my questions. Ofcourse, its a question of great interest to a lot of us. I picked this up from Minsky' site. It sure is a great read!!

" ...love has to be so,
involving and general,
particular and terrifying,
honoured and yet in mourning,
flowering like the stars,
and measureless as a kiss." - Pablo Neruda

What is Love, and how does it work? Is this something we want to understand, or should we see such poems as hints that we don't really care to probe into it?
Hear our friend Charles attempts to describe his latest infatuation.

"I've just fallen in love with a wonderful person. I scarcely can think about anything else. My sweetheart is unbelievably perfect—of indescribable beauty, flawless character, and incredible intelligence. There is nothing I would not do for her."

On the surface such statements seem positive;. But note that there's something strange about this: most of those phrases of positive praise use syllables like un–', Ô–less', and Ôin-Ôun-Õ', Ô-lessÕ, and Ôin-Õ—which show that they really are negative statements describing the person who's saying them!

Wonderful. Indescribable,
------ (I can't figure out what attracts me to her.)
I scarcely can think of anything else.
------ (Most of my mind has stopped working.)
Unbelievably Perfect. Incredible.
------ (No sensible person believes such things.)
She has a Flawless Character.
------(I've abandoned my critical faculties.)
There is nothing I would not do for her.
------ (I've forsaken most of my usual goals.)

Our friend sees all this as positive. It makes him feel happy and more productive, and relieves his dejection and loneliness. But what if most of those pleasant effects were caused by attempts to defend him from thinking about what his girlfriend says:

Celia: Oh Charles—a woman needs certain things. She needs to be loved, wanted, cherished, sought after, wooed, flattered, cosseted, pampered. She needs sympathy, affection, devotion, understanding, tenderness, infatuation, adulation, idolatry—that isn't much to ask, is it Charles?

Thus love can make us disregard most defects and deficiencies, and make us deal with blemishes as though they were embellishments. We are equally apt to deceive ourselves, not only in our personal lives but also when dealing with abstract ideas. There, too, we frequently find ways to keep inconsistent or discordant beliefs. Listen to Richard Feynman's words:

'That was the beginning and the idea seemed so obvious to me that I fell deeply in love with it. And, like falling in love with a woman, it is only possible if you don't know too much about her, so you cannot see her faults. The faults will become apparent later, but after the love is strong enough to hold you to her. So, I was held to this theory, in spite of all the difficulties, by my youthful enthusiasm.'— 1966 Nobel Prize lecture.

What does a lover actually love? That word ought to cover the one you adore—but if your goal is just to extend the pleasure that comes when doubts get suppressed, then you're only in love with Love itself.

Interesting eh?.

PS: No, I'm not in Love!!